Sweater curse

Knitters use the term Sweater Curse or the Curse of the Love Sweater to describe a situation in which a knitter gives a hand-knit sweater to a significant other, who quickly breaks up with the knitter.^[1] In an alternative formulation, the relationship will end before the sweater is even completed.^[2] The belief is widely discussed in knitting publications and some knitters claim to have experienced the Sweater Curse;^[3][4][5] a recent poll indicated that 15% of active knitters say they have experienced the sweater curse firsthand, and 41% consider it a possibility that should be taken seriously.^[6]

Despite its name, the Sweater Curse is treated in knitting literature not as a superstition governed by paranormal forces, but rather as a real-world pitfall of knitting that has real-world explanations and solutions.^[3][7] Several plausible mechanisms for the sweater curse have been proposed, but it has not been studied systematically.

Gifts of sweaters are believed by some knitters to break up relationships.

Existence

No controlled studies have investigated this phenomenon, and the available evidence is largely anecdotal, which is generally of low reliability due to cognitive bias.^[8] Particularly important in this effect may be confirmation bias, as knitters may remember breakups more clearly after giving a hand-knit sweater, which represents a significant investment of money (typically over $100), effort (~100,000 stitches), time (as much as a year)^[9] and romantic imagination.^[4]

Proposed mechanisms

Although the existence of this effect remains uncertain, it is a common belief amongst the knitting population and several plausible and non-exclusive mechanisms for the Sweater Curse have been suggested within knitting periodicals and books:

• Unlucky timing. Knitting a sweater takes a long time, and the relationship dies of natural causes during its making.^[10]
• Rescue mission. The knitter senses subconsciously that the relationship is about to end, and knits a sweater as a dramatic gesture to save it.
• Catalyst for analyzing the relationship. Giving or receiving a significant gift such as a sweater may cause either the giver or receiver to evaluate the relationship.^[5] For example, the gift may seem too intimate, too domestic or too binding to the significant other. It can be seen as a signal that makes them realize that the relationship is not reciprocal, prompting them to end the relationship before it involves obligations.^[10][11]
• Aversion. The significant other may simply not want to wear anything hand-knit.^[3] A hand-knit sweater can also subject them to ridicule, either because the sweater looks bad (i.e., poorly made or unfashionable) or conveys overly domestic connotations.^[4][10][11]
• Misdirected attention. The knitter loves their sweater a little too much, and pesters the significant other about the sweater instead of working on their relationship.^[10] Alternatively, the knitter loves to knit too much, and spends too much time with their knitting instead of with the significant other.
• Delusion. The knitter imagines incorrectly that their significant other likes them, and is not disillusioned before knitting the sweater and giving it to them.

Avoidance

For many knitters, making a hand-knit gift is an emotional experience, an extended affectionate meditation on the person receiving the gift.^[4] A metaphor commonly used by knitters is, "I knit my love into every stitch."^[12] Since giving too significant a gift too early in a relationship can evoke apprehension,^[10] knitters have been advised to match the knitted gift to the stage in the relationship, beginning with scarves, socks, mittens or hats before graduating to sweaters.^[13] Many knitters wait until marriage before making a sweater for a significant other,^[5][10][13] or ask their affianced to sign a "pre-knitual agreement".^[1]

Common-sense advice to knitters is that they should determine whether the recipient would ever wear a hand-knitted sweater.^[3] For example, a sweater may not suit the intended recipient's clothing style or it could make them uncomfortably hot. More serious problems include wool intolerance,^[14] which is particularly severe in people who suffer from atopic dermatitis.^[15] Knitters have also been advised to involve the significant other in designing the sweater (e.g., in choosing its design, colors and materials) and follow their suggestions, even if the knitter objects.^[16] Several books offer practical design advice for avoiding the Sweater Curse.^[3][7]